The log wouldn't be of much use if I wasn't honest about every thing. So heres the truth. I got completely ready to go to the gym and drove half way there. I then turned around and drove back home. I'm too embarrassed to walk back in the gym being a fucking "Starving Marven" version of what I once was. I had guys looking back at me every time I lifted my head and looked around the gym and now they will be staring for a different reason. A bad and embarrassing reason that I just couldn't face yesterday. I know I have to man up to this and just do it but God damn it's going to suck guys. The last time they all saw me I was huge and full...………...know I will be a spectacle of embarrassment.
I'm even considering staying home and just doing pushups and working with bands until I can some what put some size back on. I just have to figure this out. It would seam I figured out the entire plan on how to get back on the horse until I faced reality. Sucks to be me.
You had a medical reason for your current status, more specifically, a life-threatening condition.
Get you ass back in the gym m-therfukker!
Who gives a shit if people look at you....you are there for you. If people you know don't understand and support your comeback in that gym, then fukk them too.
I get what you are saying, I've missed months at a time for the last many years due to stuff that comes up and inconsistency, so I know the feeling (disclaimer: I know I didn';t have a life-threatening condition), but you have to put on your old man big boy britches and go in for yourself and your health and well-being. Get in there and ease into things....getting in there is more for mental health than physical, though both will be of benefit.
I don't want to see and read another post like this again, CG!!!:banghead:
:love1: